I am a divorced mother of three daughters in their 30s. Two are settled and happily married. They are all very close – to each other and to me.
My third daughter has a successful career, working with children, which she loves. She has a partner and a delightful two-year-old daughter. She has confided in one of her sisters that her partner is planning to grow cannabis. They have money worries and we believe this is the motivation.
She has been convinced by him that he will not get caught. We are very worried about the morality of what they are planning and what would happen if they were found out. Could they lose their jobs? Would they be in danger of children's services getting involved? We are especially concerned that there is a child involved – this is not the sort of household we want our granddaughter to grow up in and we are shocked that my daughter feels this is an acceptable choice to make.
I am scared of confronting her because I love her dearly and don't want her to fall out with me and she can be very touchy. I also have a wonderful relationship with my granddaughter and would hate to put that at risk. But I am desperately worried about the risks they run and disappointed at the decision she is making.
AB, Cornwall
Most importantly, you have to find out what is actually going on – there are too many rumours here.
Perhaps if I answer some of your questions you will be clearer about what to do if things are as you fear. Kate Goold, a criminal lawyer and associate at Bindmans, confirms: "Cultivating cannabis is an offence under section six of the Misuse of Drugs Act, 1971. It could also potentially be charged as s4 (production) Misuse of Drugs Act. If he is dealing, that would be supply. Cannabis was re-classified as Class B in January 2009."
It's impossible to say what, if any, prison sentence your daughter's partner would get as it depends on quite a few things. The Frank website (talktofrank.com, useful for drug facts) says that possession of cannabis carries a maximum prison sentence of five years; supplying it, 14 years. Your daughter could potentially also, says Goold, be charged with money laundering or allowing the premises to be used for drug activities (s8 Misuse of Drugs Act).
Could your daughter or her partner lose their jobs? It depends on what they do exactly, but any convictions would have to be disclosed in a CRB check. If her boyfriend was arrested and charged, the police would be likely to make a referral to social services, which would carry out a risk assessment. Their main concern would be whether the parents could safeguard the child. If drug dealers were coming to the house to sell the cannabis on, there would be concern.
I think your daughter gave her sister such inflammatory information as a cry for help. I wonder if she wants you to intervene (with help or money, or both). How long has she been with this man? Aside from this, do you like him? What I'm worried about – from other portions of your letter that you've asked me not to publish – is that he doesn't seem to think the law applies to him. Cannabis today, what tomorrow?
Sit down with your daughter and try to get her to tell you herself. I'd start by asking, "Is everything OK?" If she doesn't tell you herself, ask her outright (if not on that occasion, another time). I would also confront her partner. Not as a first step, perhaps, but I'd tackle him for sure. You don't have to be aggressive, but you can be strong. Only you can decide what your parameters are, but don't be held hostage.
Ultimately, you could threaten to shop them if they decide to proceed, but only you can decide if this would be counter-productive or not. You can, of course, choose to do nothing at all and hope for the best, but if it all goes wrong, will you wish you'd said something?
Contact Annalisa Barbieri, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU or email annalisa.barbieri@mac.com. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence
No comments:
Post a Comment